El Shadday

I've been casually reading through Praying the Names of God by Ann Spangler. Last week's reading was El Roi, God who sees me. It's amazing when I started incorporating those words of who God is in my prayers I became more aware of God seeing me. I mean I'm so little on this great big earth and there is so many people on this planet. But yet, I needed to remember that El Roi is seeing my sadden heart, El Roi is seeing my discipline with Maizie, El Roi is seeing my convictions, El Roi is prompting me to do something about my convictions. God sees me!

El Shaddai, God Almighty! Today had a prayer, it was as follows:
Lord, help me to know you as my All-Powerful God, the One who is able to sustain and bless me, to fulfill every promise He makes. Increase my awe of You and Your power so that, like Abraham, I may follow You faithfully, always believing You are enough for me." (pg 41) This prayer hit my heart. First, it causes me to really imagine and open my eyes to see how big God truly is. Second, reminding me not to use the word "awe"some too much. I want to save that word to describe God. Following Him, always need to incorporate this in some aspect of my relationship with God. Now the part that really stuck with me, "Believing You are enough for me"! As much as we've been traveling and visiting with family and friends, as much as James has been traveling and working 16+ when he's home, I feel disconnected to people. Maybe that is just part of my coping with the loss of my baby, maybe I have purposely disconnected myself, so that I don't get emotionally involved. I was very emotionally involved in my pregnancy. I was surprised to be pregnant, surprised that I got pregnant so easily, surprised that another life was in my womb. But despite the severe longing to hold my heavenly baby, despite that I miss my husband because he's so busy, I need to remember and BELIEVE THAT EL SHADDAY IS ENOUGH FOR ME!