God Revealed

Everything has the hands of God in it! I truly believe that, I just know that life gets so busy and I'm easily distracted to not see Him everywhere.

"God lives in my home, but sometimes I ignore Him and don't hear the music He is playing just for me.  This journey of mothering is a challenging marathon of moments, hours, days, months, years, and decades. And yet, in each moment, God has sprinkled across our paths beauty, love, and joy.  We have only to cultivate eyes in our hearts to observe this Artist's work of life." (Sally Clarkson, Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe, Chapter 12).

But I claim "God Himself Revealed" for this pregnancy, I stand in awe of the way He has blessed us! Life threw some curves in regards to friendships last year.  Some were blessings and others were life-draining. After being stressed with some of these friendships, overwhelmed with visions not being met with MOPS, restlessness about James' job, and curriculum not working, I realized in the midst of November and beginning of December my joy was stolen.

Here I was planning a MOPS Christmas meeting with the focus on the Names of Jesus.  I had Bible lessons printed and was reading all these Names of Jesus to the kids. Though God was near, I knew I was not putting my whole heart out there for Him being the Reason of the Season. I knew these outside circumstances were disrupting my focus on Jesus.

So one day in the beginning of December, I remember standing in my closet hanging up clothes.  Frustrated with where I wanted to be in my level of joy in celebrating Christ's birth with my family, I threw up a short prayer.

I remember the words exactly.

"Lord, Restore my joy. And let it be in the form of a baby."

It was raw, it was short, it was honest, and it was the truest thing I've ever prayed. I don't think I counted then that God would hear my heart. Or that I had revealed so honestly my heart.

Imagine my surprise two days after celebrating Christ's birth, when the test revealed the + sign! The first thing I thought was, "God are you serious? God, You heard me!"